Chat line for mature adults
This can be extremely disconcerting if he tries to act-out similar scenes with his partner/spouse. Social activity may be limited, and the AS man’s wife often forms her own friendships and socializes while her husband stays at home. Some AS males end up living a secluded life style and become known as a “hermit” or a “recluse.” They seem to cope better by being isolated, and feel less anxious than when they are confronted daily by the difficulties of interpersonal relationships. Some AS males prefer to have a confirmed diagnosis, while others would rather carry on with life as they have in the past.
Still others refuse to accept the possibility that they may have AS – and are offended when the issue is raised. Some males with AS may have become defensive as years have passed and are difficult to confront or reason with.
I have started going to things by myself which may sound rude but at least I feel alive!!!! Not sure I can live with that in a husband, although I can love him as the wonderful father of my child that he is. He is very intelligent in some ways, especially about mechanical and electrical things and political topics, and oddly off base about very basic aspects of pleasant human interaction.
To have another adult to talk to is worth more than anything. Compliments are the hardest thing to give and to take. I have been driven into a rage more than I care to admit by his rudeness, and into despair, near suicidal, living with someone who has so little empathy. He even took an online test where I felt he basically lied so that it would not come out as Aspergers.
Also, crowds may be overwhelming, and he may avoid them all together. Sexual issues may arise if the AS male has not received an appropriate sex education earlier in life.
In some cases, he may have learned about sex through watching porn on the Internet.
We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.
Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events. I see that I am responsible for my own anger and resentment and criticism, and the response it has provoked in him. But I also see that he will never be someone who will hug me spontaneously, kiss my cheek when I am crying, grab my hand when we are walking, look me in the eyes and truly understand emotionally what I am going through. He doesn't like to make eye contact, unless it's an overly direct, almost aggressive stare, and pulls away quickly after a stiff hug.
I have dropped my non-AS 'friends' over the years as I was unable to meet their expectations that I should change to be more like them.
A special interest (e.g., coin collecting) is common in males with AS, and this may be something they have pursued for years.
They will be passionate about it and often have an extensive collection of related items as well as incredible knowledge on the subject. Although AS males are often highly intelligent, they may have held down a menial job or drifted from job to job for years.
This is often the result of bullying and exclusion by their peers when they were younger. Teamwork may pose a problem, and the AS man may function better if he is in a separate office without noise or distracting social interaction. When courting a lady, an AS man may come across as quiet and reserved.
In marriage, these qualities may become a point of contention if his spouse/partner becomes frustrated by his lack of communication.
They never tried to understand me, yet expected ME to understand THEM!